The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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