My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
