one might say we're banned from that church
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
