It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
