piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Its about making memories worth repressing
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
