i don't like sucking hair
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
