Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
