Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The beer is more important than you right now.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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