I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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