your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
