I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
