I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
