I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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