found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
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Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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