Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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