I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
