Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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