hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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