Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
