That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
