I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i will never coherently bang her
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
