That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just had sex bonerless
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize