I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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