The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i out mim tonsoeep
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