remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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