lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
