hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well I just put wine in my tea
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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