Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
