There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize