Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
