You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
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absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
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If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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