i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize