So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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