I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
