So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
