I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
