Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
