good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
