It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
