Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
