so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
