Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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