I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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