Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i think im in europe. pls send help
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
