We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
