This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
