I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
