Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
