you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
