i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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