I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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