your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
