she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
