I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Enjoy the penises
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