What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
